Change is good. Trust me. Even change you don't like can be good for you. The only way progress and growth can happen is through change. When life is going well and things are happening in your favor, you understandably want things to stay the same. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We don't want change because it means our comfortable, cozy status quo may not be so comfy anymore.
There are times, however, when life isn't so great and we aren't happy with the status quo, yet we are still hesitant to change. You may long for a better life, easier day, or just something to look forward to... yet you drag your feet when it comes to doing anything different. Comfy and cozy outshine new and unknown simply because it's familiar. You know what to expect. How to handle it. Who to call. And where to go. You got this. Even if you don't like this.
So you stick with it. Drudging along miserably. Convincing yourself to get up every morning. Talking yourself into getting through the day. Complaining every step of the way.
You get so used to this routine that you may not even recognize that you CAN do something different.
You NEED to do something different.
So how do you know when it's time for a change?
Here are 3 signs to look for...
1. You Dread
Every time you have to go to that place, do that thing, or meet with that person, you start thinking of ways to get out of it. Just the thought of it makes your head. ache. You'd rather not have to endure this again, but here you are. It may be an unavoidable obligation (work) or a perceived obligation (social events... we'll talk about perceived obligations in another blog post) but whatever it is you just Don’t. Want. To. Go.
When you realize that your negative thoughts about something are outnumbering your positive thoughts... it's time for a change!
2. You Dodge
Whenever someone asks you about it (whatever your “it” is), you do one of two things:
You try to quickly change the subject.
You struggle with how to talk about it.
This can be a tricky one because often times your “it” is something you like... You started a business, you’re in a new relationship, or got a promotion. At one point you were looking forward to this happening, but now it feels like a burden. So much so that you don’t even want to talk about it.
On the other hand this feeling may also come from a source of ongoing dread in your life… your job, a one-sided friendship, a project you've been working on, an unhealthy relationship.
As mentioned before, you get an instant headache when the thought crosses your mind. It's the last thing you want to think about, let alone talk about. So when someone asks, "Hey, how's IT going?" you dodge the question. You feel stressed, anxious, and this overwhelming desire to escape. All you really want to do is find the nearest exit from this conversation so you can enjoy your time without feeling like a failure. Why do people keep asking you about it? Don't they know how busy you are? How much effort and work is required of you already? How much work you've already done?
Yet in some way you also wish you could escape to put more work into "it." You want to make some progress, feel accomplished, be proud. Once you're further along, you'll be happy to update folks on your status... just not right now. You may even find yourself lying to cover the real circumstances because you're not content with where you are or how you feel about it.
When you realize that your desire to avoid it is greater than your desire to attend to it… it’s time for a change!
3. You Dream
You daydream about a better life, a better place, a better time... but you’re not really sure you believe your dreams are possible. Or you have no idea how to make your dream your reality. You spend most days wishing life could be different. You wish YOU could be different. In dreaming up this alternate universe, you consider every aspect of your life. You search for areas of joy and contentment to balance the areas of displeasure and discomfort. Dreaming of a life other than your own... feeling miserable about your current circumstances... wishing that something, anything, could be different... these are all ways of telling yourself that it's time for a new reality. It could range from wanting a healthier relationship, having a successful business, training for a new skill, or moving to a new state. Whatever your reasons...
When you realize that you'd rather daydream than deal with reality... it's time for a change!
Recognizing the need for a change can be a challenge. Many of us keep doing what we've always done in hopes that things will get better. The problem with that line of thinking is that things rarely just get better on their own. If you want something different, you have to do something different. Life is full of choices. Change comes in all sizes. If you're ready to make a change toward the life you want, try these tips {Be the Change: 3 Steps to Start Creating the Life You Want} to get started. You can do this!
If you have more questions about knowing if you need a change, schedule online or give me a call to discuss.
faith, hope, love
